


Underneath It All

by lannisterofslytherin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, rey was always a Jedi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:46:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5999524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lannisterofslytherin/pseuds/lannisterofslytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey and Ben has always been together, which is why his defection to the First Order devastated her, but what happens when her life is in danger?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Underneath It All

**Author's Note:**

  * For [diasterisms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diasterisms/gifts).



> Happy Valentines Day! I tried to mix two of your suggestions in the sense of Jedi Knight/Padawan and also turning his back on Snoke. I made it a happy ending like you asked but its definitely angsty in the middle, but you can't really have semi-canon star wars without it!
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys the fic!

Ben had always been around for Rey. Her first memory is getting a piggyback from Ben after running away from Master Luke during her a difficult session in her training. She had gotten lost in the forest in Coruscant and after hours of walking around trying to find her way back had settled under a tree and shortly after had fell asleep. She had opened her eyes later on to find herself seated on Ben’s back. Feeling at peace with Ben she rested her head on his back, but the motion of his walking stopped her from falling back asleep. 

“You should take me with you next time so I don’t have to worry,” Ben said quietly.

“Mmkay,” Rey mumbled, still feeling sleepy.

Rey knew Ben would find her, that’s the way it was between the two of them. Ben would find Rey, Rey would find Ben, it didn’t matter what it was for or when it was, the other always knew where to look. Ben was Rey’s best friend though he was ten years older and a Jedi Knight, and she one of his Padawan. He’d always make extra time for her and they would go into the forest and he would teach her new moves to impress Master Luke with.

That’s why it hurt Rey the most when Ben turned to the Dark Side and became Kylo Ren. One day he had come back from a mission and she knew something was wrong as soon as his ship entered the atmosphere, she could sense that he was blocking her from his mind trying to keep something away from her but she was still young and didn’t think it could be anything terrible, he was Ben and she loved him. She reached out to him and asked if he was okay and he told her they were going to play and game of hide and seek and that she should hide far far away from the temple and he would come and find her later and then they were going to go on an adventure. Not thinking anything of it Rey ran out of the temple giggling and hid in the forest. It wasn’t until a few hours had passed and he still hadn’t come to find her that she thought something was off.

She tried to sense him but his signature wasn’t anywhere to be found, getting worried now she started searching for the other Padawans wondering what was happening when she couldn’t sense any of the others.

“Master Luke whats going on?” she sent to Luke, feeling overwhelmed and scared at her inability to sense the others, innocently hoping he would tell her it was part of a training exercise.

“Rey, stay where you are I’ll come and find you” she felt him send back through the force. 

When he found her she knew something was wrong. Jedi Masters were not supposed to show emotions like this but he had tears streaming down his face even though he voice was steady.

“Ben has done a bad thing Rey and we need to get away quickly,” he said determinedly, trying not to worry the young ten year old but the need to leave outweighing the potential fear at telling her something was wrong. 

“Master Luke, Ben would never do anything to hurt me, we are best friends, he said we are going on an adventure. Don’t be sad everything will be fine,” she naively said, imitating what she has heard from others trying to cheer people up.

~

She remembers the day clearly, the look of fear on Master Luke’s face when she told him that Ben was coming back for her and then blacking out soon afterwards. She resented him for a time, not understanding why he used the force to make her fall asleep instead of letting her go on an adventure with Ben. It wasn’t until they reached the Resistance base that he explained to her what happened and held her as the sobs took over her body, she didn’t understand how Ben could kill all of their friends and join the First Order.

Years had passed but the sense of betrayal never went away, neither did Ben in the back of her mind. It wasn’t as strong as it was when she was a child but she could sense if he was alive and sometimes she felt a probing in her mind as if he was checking that she was okay. Rey liked to believe that anyway, to hope there is some good in the man who was once her best friend but it was most likely that he was trying to get into her mind to find out where she and Luke were to come and finish off the last of the Jedi. 

Luke trained Rey every day; he showed her the importance of clearing your mind and being able to mask her signature in all situations, as well as the skills needed to survive in battle. While she enjoyed being trained she sometimes wished there were other Padawans or Knights around but Luke was concerned that Kylo would come back for them one day and all the force sensitive’s could be permanently wiped from the universe. 

One day during a routine Resistance mission, Rey, Luke and Poe were scouting a nearby planet for a piece of machinery that would be helpful in the fight against the resistance when she felt him in the back of her head stronger than it had been in a long time.

She gasped as she felt his anger and quickly went to find Luke and Poe, “He’s nearby.”

“How do you know?” Poe said as while he knew about the connection, he didn’t understand the exacts of the force.

It was hard to explain how she and Ben had this connection as there were aspects she didn’t understand; sometimes she felt his guilt through the connection or his wish to see her and his mother. Sometimes she’d be dreaming and he would appear, always looking sad and silent. She knew that he was tortured by Snoke, part of his training was to feel immense pain to fuel his power but one night during a nightmare she woke up screaming only to hear him say sorry through the force.

“I can feel his anger, he knows I am close and he is not happy about it,” Rey answered.

“Well if he’s mad that we are here that can only be a good thing right?” Poe asks happily as we flew into the planet’s atmosphere.

“Not necessarily,” Luke stated calmly, “It would be wise to proceed with caution.”

While Poe and Rey were adjusting the settings of the ship and getting ready to land they felt the pull of the planets gravity and all of a sudden everything was beeping and they were speeding towards the planet’s surface. She heard Poe screaming her name and then everything was blank.

~

She could hear Luke trying to sense her in the force and ask if she was okay but she was unable to reply, she couldn’t feel anything, just felt as if she was drifting away in peace, his voice slowly getting quieter and quieter when she heard it.

“NO!”

No what? What was this sensation? All she could feel was pain, she opened her eyes groaning as she felt her body wake up and everything hurt. The feeling of the Bacta tank was strange sensation and while it was helping her heal, no one had told her that the healing process would hurt and ache this much.

“You are not allowed to die,” she hears him mutter; “All of this would have been for nothing.” 

When she hears this she freezes, looking over and seeing Ben sitting on a chair across the room; promptly fainting.

~

When she awakes several hours later she sees everyone surrounding the tank, and while seeing Ben in the same room as Luke, Leia, Han, Chewbucca, Finn and Poe was strange and worrying, it left her with a sense of warmth that she knew he could feel through their connection as he grimaced. 

Luke and Leia explained that Ben had defected a year ago but continued to work the First Order to spy for the Resistance. 

They apologised for not telling her but promised the only reason she didn’t know was that the less people that knew the safer it was for everyone. She stared at Ben throughout the entire explanation, watching his expressionless face change as he flinched at each mention of the name Ben, only for the expression to disappear as the mask went back up again.

Once the others had finished talking she asked to be alone with Ben and while they were hesitant at first, especially Finn who had seen firsthand what Ben could do, they all eventually left the room and the room was filled with silence.

“Why come back now?” Rey questioned, her curiosity getting the better of her.

“I couldn’t let you die, it was as simple as that,” he answered angrily, “You shouldn’t have gone to that planet, I warned you not to go to that planet. I felt your energy die and your presence leave the force and I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared in my life.”

Not liking the tone and accusation in his voice, Rey heatedly replied, “You don’t get to be angry after everything you put me through. Now is not the time to be pointing fingers, you know what you have done.”

Keeping his eyes focused at the ground as he asked, “Do you ever think you can forgive me?”

Tears forming in her eyes she answered sadly, “Ben did terrible things, and I know you turned back to the light but you also left me. You promised that you’d never leave me and you did.” 

She looked up to try to stop the tears from falling, “I’ll forgive you,” Rey continues, voice breaking, “But I’ll need time and you need to give it to me okay.”

~

It took months for her life to go back to normal, Ben seamlessly fit in to the Resistance, teaching the others First Order strategies and fighting techniques so they knew what to do to defeat them, and while some members of the Resistance did not like him for his role in the First Order most either began to enjoy his company or just completely ignore him. 

The real breakthrough in Rey and Ben’s relationship was when she found some of the Resistance fighters beating him up in the hallway and she used the force to stop them before running to Ben to check if he was okay.

After that moment she knew she had already forgiven him, seeing him in pain had erased any misgivings she had at becoming friends again. He had the force, he had his lightsaber and yet he let those fighters hit him as if it didn’t hurt and did nothing to protect himself. She actively sought him out after that, to practice, to eat lunch together, to watch the holograms or to just stroll the forest as they did when they were younger. 

It was months later when they were sitting in the crowded dining hall listening to Finn tell a joke about his last mission when she felt his stare from across the table and in the back of her mind she heart it, “Man I love her.”

She looked up at him shocked and felt his walls slam up, until she smiled and grabbed his hand under the table before sending back through their connection.

“I love you too.”


End file.
